Hello 2016!

When i was younger, i had a book where i would write down all my achievements of the year and then the down sides also, and afterwards Resolve to what i wanna achieve the next year and how i wanna behave, habits i wanna stop or avoid, characters i wanna inculcate and all that….

Fortunately or should i say unfortunately, out of 10 of my resolutions, i ended up achieving almost none or less than none even. it became funny because at that point when i was writing my resolution i was determined that it was gonna work, and i had this good friend that always reminded me at this time of the year…’have you written down your new year resolution’ Sannom?

I Believe in God, and now i have come to realize why i hardly achieved most of my resolutions, i mean now i always almost achieve all of them….

We sometimes forget that God exist and like the saying goes ‘We make plans, and God laughs at them’ because he has better plans for us. i am not all about God….wait, hold on….of course i am all about God because he has proven to exist without reasonable doubt and has come around for me severally.

Those years my resolution didn’t come to past was simply because i never told God about it, i never told him to come to my aid, i never asked for his guidance, we have no idea the importance of a little prayer….just a little prayer….

We all want to be better people, we want to have great jobs, outstanding partners, beautiful homes and lovely kids…….i in particular want to learn how to forgive easily, i want to learn how to manage my temper, i want to learn to be less ‘mean’ and be nicer….at least that’s my new year Resolution and yes, i will definitely put it in God’s hands, but how about you?

Don’t you dare write a resolution without working extra hard to achieve it, you cant pray for a job and sit at home everyday waiting for a miracle to happen, you cant pray for an extra-ordinary partner and exhibit an attitude that is unacceptable even to yourself….Time waits for no one, if we don’t make use of the opportunity God gives us everyday then we have to accept whatever comes to us.

In a nutshell, when it comes to Resolutions, be it new year, middle year or end of the year, do not write or ask for what you will not work hard to achieve…Some of us are lazy talkers, we talk too much, make a lot of noise and sit on our asses waiting for everything to be handed to us, but it doesn’t work that way.. Maybe we ain’t just trying enough, or just maybe we need to push harder…And life is too short not to achieve your dreams or aspirations or live comfortably….

2016, is gonna be a beautiful year for me, i can feel it….but i also want it to be a beautiful year for my dear readers, so, lets work hard, be optimistic, learn to be positive, always pray to God, redefine your attitude, make good and reasonable friends only, it is never too late to achieve what you have lost, it only takes determination and focus because those who made it don’t have two heads, they just learned to use theirs more often than us….Hard work really Pays you know!…so, Define yourself in 2016….

“Lower Your Standards”…

 

This is one advice I think every single girl has heard at some point in her life.

When people ask you why you’re single (by the way I find it surprising people haven’t figured out this question is annoying), they’re sometimes fishing to hear what barriers you’ve built around yourself, preventing you from finding eternal happiness. I always say “oh wow… I don’t know. Perhaps you can tell me.” Of course, this gets them excited and the next question comes –  “What do you want in a partner?”

This is where you probably get shaky; there is a strong urge to not come across as shallow, and at the same time, not aim too high because you don’t want to be seen as a gold digger (whatever that means); so you find yourself rambling off the perfect textbook response; “I don’t care about looks or achievements. As long as he has potential and he’s sweet, I’m good”. This is the response that is supposed to get you the clap on the back as they sing your praises for knowing what it is exactly to look for in a man, yet it sometimes fails to impress. They might still say “why does he need to have potential? You can build potential into him when you start dating!” or you might get the “Don’t think men are always sweet; just be ready to look past the difficult times!” It seems you can never win, and will always get the advice to lower your standards till you have nothing left. You don’t want to hear the long lecture I get due to my precise list of standards, so I’ll spare you.

There is constant pressure on us single women to lower our standards; it is not about waiting for who you deserve, it’s about making the available desirable, and the world will not stop reminding us about that educated woman who married an uneducated bus driver, and succeeded in her marriage. Society will not stop pointing at that lady who married the unemployed man and is now the happiest wife on earth. Of course, they will not forget to point out that woman who earns more than her husband, so she gives him her salary and lets him decide what should be done with it. With your education, exposure, and independence, you’re still single because you are looking for a man who has everything you have, and more…. Like that is some kind of crime.

I watched a 25 year old doctor break down in tears on TV during the course of a dating show. She had her standards, very reasonable ones if I might add. She didn’t want a guy who drinks because she’d had a bad experience with an alcoholic in her past, and she wanted him to be a man who had a good relationship with God. This was a 25 year old medical doctor who was beautiful, and seemed to have excelled against all odds. Sadly, everyone, including the men themselves thought her requirements were just too high. She ended up in tears, like many of us have, wondering if we will ever meet this dream man.

Do not lower your standards except you can tolerate the lowered version! The reason many women end up brokenhearted over and over again is not necessarily because some men are jerks; it is sometimes because as women we tell ourselves to give an undeserving man a chance, because we might find happiness in the relationship. We lower our standards and instead of allowing kings into our lives, we open the door for clowns and jesters. We keep lowering our standards until we start to doubt our identity, and we find that  with the barest minimum, we are unhappy.

I have come to learn that it is OK to want whatever it is that you want. If you want him to be tall, dark, handsome, and successful, and a good man, you should not apologize for it. Stay true to that, and you will get it! Stop compromising stupidly, and then spend the rest of your life trying to convince yourself it was worth it. From experience, I can tell you compromising to a point you can’t handle will only bring you loads of regret. You will ask yourself why you stooped so low, and you’ll always be on the lookout for someone better. What on earth is the point of the relationship in that case?

Stop lowering your standards except you can cope; I love men who are drop-dead gorgeous but it doesn’t hurt me to date a man who’s just good-looking, as long as he’s not an eye sore, and I don’t foresee my children being teased on the school playground. When it comes to drive, ambition, achievements, success, intellectual conversations and emotional maturity, those are non-negotiable! I should probably feel bad for wanting so much, but I don’t, and you shouldn’t too. You’ve worked hard to be where you are; you are still working hard to be where you want to be. Why should you aim lower when you can reach higher? XOXO

Demisweeklydigest.

When Oceans Rise… Word of Encouragement.

2015 is almost over, and there is no doubt some of you awesome readers are still looking up to God for a breakthrough; some of you are probably wondering if God is on holiday, and some of you are crucifying yourselves for your sins. Perhaps, they are the giant obstacles between you and God. I just want to tell you that I know EXACTLY how you feel.

2015 started off great for me! It came with a lot of pleasant surprises and many reasons to give thanks. Along the way, it took a terrible turn I did not foresee, and truly I tell you that I’ve experienced emotions I never thought I could experience. I have broken down, picked myself up, walked a few metres and broken down again. Anxiety, panic attacks, and flirting with the borders of hopelessness… It has simply been too much for me to understand, and in the midst of all this, the one question I’ve asked myself is ‘why is God silent?’ If you’re asking yourself the same question, this post is for you.

Sometimes, life does not play out the way we want; sometimes it plays out better or takes a turn for the worse. When it turns out great, many of us give thanks and ride the wave of happiness. When it turns out sad, we retreat, pray, fast and do whatever else we believe will turn things around quicker. It is of course rather disappointing when all these efforts prove futile and we find the foundation of our faith being shaken to its very core. I know because I have been there so many times within a short space of time.

My word for you is to not despair; easier said than done I know, but really, don’t. Life is full of peaks and valleys. Peaks are awesome; the journey upwards is scary in an exciting way. Valleys are depressing; the journey downwards is full of fear, panic, anxiety and every other psychological term that describes how you feel when you are filled with uncertainty. But don’t despair. This is all a test of faith.

Yes, you can break down and cry; yes you can get angry at God; yes you can reconsider if this relationship is heading anywhere, but always remember that no one else loves you more than God. It sounds ridiculous right? Yea it did to me too until I closed my eyes to sleep last night while I listened to music and Hillsong’s oceans started playing. It made me realize the reason we lose hope and faith is because we forget the many times God came through for us. We focus so strongly on the current situation that we forget he has been our help in ages past, hence chances of him failing now are a little slim to none. We forget that when oceans rise, we can rest in His embrace, and believe everything will work out just fine. Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love, and everything truly works out for our good.

So if you are going through a difficult time, ravished by uncertainty and hopelessness, hold on to this; when oceans rise, God is right there. When we fall into deep valleys, God is already waiting. When the mountain is too steep and we slip, God is already there. If it seems like He’s silent, it’s because he’s about to change the course of your life completely.

December is already here. Challenge yourself each day to reinforce your faith, and pray for strength to get through each day. You are a winner; I am a winner. We are all winners. The storm you see today, you shall see no more. Everything will work together for your good.
XOXO.
Posted by Demi Fayemiwo.

About my Blog!!

Hi Everyone…After introducing this blog yesterday to a lot of people, some still couldn’t get the drift on what this blog is gonna be all about….so i am here to enlighten all of you or should i say ‘those who didn’t get me right’….

This blog isn’t about news, trends or what have you……the likes of Linda ikeji does….i mean, i admire her and all others for the tremendous work they do but thats not my line, at-least not for now….i just wanna write, post life related stories, articles, quotes from people who makes sense to me, talk about my ideas, talk about LOVE, (of cause i Love to talk about Love, i believe in it) talk about careers, our dreams, ways to achieve it, talk about relationships, friendships, marriage, you just name it…..i am gonna talk about everything that matters……And just so you know, i am gonna murder my Punctuation marks because it makes me pass the kinda message i want the way i want it(lol), but……that doesn’t mean i dont follow the rules of punctuation when its deem fit ohhhh…..i know the difference..

(sigh)i feel nervous, or should i say EXCITED!…I waited soo long to write something, i feel i am that good and i just want to share my views and my thoughts with anyone who cares to listen…..you know that feeling when you have alot of things to say and you keep soliloquizing like its you and someone else but its actually just you….you know, i started writing a book few years ago, and then i got stuck, i also used to read alot of novels and along the line i just stopped….what could have been the problem, i kept asking myself…..And then i realised, i didnt try enough, i didnt push hard enough….i mean, this is what i really love doing why did i have to give up on it?

Now, the punch line is….i didnt give up, i just got stuck and maybe it lasted a while but here i am writing Again….this is a start for me….doing something i love, it gives me great fulfilment and a sense of direction…..this is my ‘thingg’, my very one ‘thingg’, that ‘thingg’ that makes me blush while i do it, that ‘thingg’ that makes me nervous while i do it, that ‘thingg’ that gives me peace and calm while i do it….So, whats your Thingg????

We all have a Thingg, that thingg that makes you feel like every other thingg comes second……i do have alot of thinggssssss, i have options……but writing, is my NO1 Thingg…

Sannom.

 

Finally!!!

Finally….i decided to open this Blog, and YES!!!! it is long over due.

I mean, what took me so long? i used to think i was spontaneous and i had this in mind like Forever….i wouldnt say i didnt have a Muse, because I Am my Muse…ohhhh YES I LOVE MYSELF that much and its all about me and me Alone….that doesnt mean i am self centered you know, but i inspire myself, encourage myself, depend on myself, look out for myself….and the list goes on and on….Enough about me already Jare!

All that been said, Welcome to the future of real talk, gist, and hell yeahhh…’Gossip’ and whatever comes to your mind…..i am that friend you wish existed, i mean yeah i exist but only in this forum…hehehehh.

On a more serious note, i just wanna write anything that comes to my mind, share it with anyone who cares to listen, and most of all, be that friend you always wanna talk to. i am not perfect and not an island either, so i would gladly appreciate your efforts on how to make this blog grow.

Once again, Welcome to the beginning of the first day of the rest of your life…

Sannom Kingz.