Finding one’s Purpose.

I am usually hyper-excited at the beginning of the year because something in me reconnects to the world in a new way entirely and it feels sublime because I get a fresh perspective of the universe and I make a constant effort to focus on my goals for the year.

Sigh!

2018 tried to knock me down I must tell you and it was overwhelming. I had a lot of disappointments, and a massive shift of highs and lows and for a moment I felt God hand picked me and said ‘Sannom, I will shake you up this year so get ready’ – but I wasn’t . 2018 was TOUGH!!! I mean with a lot of exclamations there. I was floating and suddenly didn’t know where I belonged anymore, in between, had no bearing, frustrated, my career suddenly wasn’t taking shape like I had hoped, and I was barely struggling to keep my head above waters. I prayed ceaselessly, I cried some nights and even broke down while praying most times. On some days, I did not find the right words to speak to God because I felt I had repeated myself one time too many and was only beginning to sound like a broken record. I could not really talk to anyone because I felt they would not really understand and most especially I did not want to sound weak, oh I hate sounding vulnerable trust me.

One thing I didn’t do was give up!

Giving up is not in my book, I mean I can’t and I would not even try because I do not want to know what it feels like. I feel like my purpose in life is way beyond my comprehension and I will disappoint a lot of people including myself  and God if I decide to give up. I feel like I have so much to achieve and I am in the route to making a difference in the world and the world would be incomplete without my contribution. I feel like I am the missing puzzle in this world and I just deserve so much more than leading an ordinary life. I mean C’mon, I cannot waste all this deliciousness I possess. LOL.

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So every morning I wake up and I try to forget about yesterday’s disappointment, frustration and hurt and I start all over again in renewing my faith in God and deciding to believe in his process because contrary to what I felt on such days, I know he never gets tired of hearing me and he doesn’t mind if I sound like a broken record – he is God, he doesn’t judge. And to be fair, my life was always pretty Amazing before last year and some times I felt ungrateful for complaining to God because of a setback which I should know will result to a come back!. This is just a phase, I told myself every morning.

On so many occasions I desperately wanted to write how I felt on some days but due to the rush of emotions I could hardly put them into words which resulted to what we call Writers block.

My friends were Amazing, and I even made new friends which I hardly do. That been said, this is 2019 and the journey of finding my purpose and my place on earth still continues and hopefully, this year will yield more beautiful and blooming fruits.

This is to hoping we all find our purpose in life and enjoy the magnificent wonders of God’s existence on earth. And know……..always keep it somewhere at the back of our minds that every phase is just a stage and God never gives us a cross we cannot carry therefore, DON’T STOP BELIEVING, BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD!

Love and Light!

S.K.

ACRIMONY.

Tyler Perry really did a number on a lot of us with this new block buster I must confess, and contrary to the fact that I am not much of a fan with his one sided show case of portraying a black woman as ‘Always raged or melo dramatic’ in most of his movies, I can explicitly say this particular movie got a lot of people talking and now I am here to talk……

So, I am going to start with the bible and a verse about an angry woman – Proverbs 21:9 says “It is better to live on a corner of a roof than share a house with an angry woman”

I have read a lot of arguments especially on social media and had few arguments as well on who is to blame in this movie which has led me to critically analyse MY opinion on certain issues portrayed in the act, after watching it over and over again.

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Every major character except Melinda is to blame and I will tell you why. Let us begin with her husband. That guy is a typical example of a lazy ass USER, and I know a lot of men will counter this statement but it is your opinion. Yes, he had big dreams and was an intelligent young man with full blown potentials and prospects but he also took advantage of the fact that this young-naive girl truly loved him and was willing to do anything to keep him. What happened to supporting your spouse and your home while pursuing your dream? What happened to Love? What happened to empathy? What happened to care? For 18 solid years, this woman was never a nag nor did she bruise your ego in anyway, she stood by you and took it all in, she took up the responsibility of a man and a wife, she fed you, she went against her family for you, she gave up her home for you and her education, she would never be able to carry a child because of her stupid impulsive reaction towards your inability to keep the thing in between your legs to yourself……Every single dime of hers was invested in you, now this alone requires LOYALTY. You know, there were times in the course of their marriage I expected her to maybe curse him, maybe nag or probably leave but she did not. How many women would have stayed?

Diane, is a typical OPPORTUNIST – she saw prospects and she grabbed it with both hands and ensured it was fruitful at the end of the day. This lady watched those videos over and over again and she knew it was going to be a hit and she paved ways for it because without her he would not have even gotten through the front door, So as far as I am concern that 10 million dollars was meant for Diane and not Melinda – as per “Thanks for putting me through the door and being of tremendous help”….Marriage was definitely going over board!……

So what if at the peak of the moment Melinda decides to mess up? He still did not have the right to throw it all away because she deserved at least a bit of credit for sticking around when nothing seemed great. Did you notice he never called even once after she asked him to leave? 3 months went by and he did not even try to fight for that relationship/marriage, not even once which intensified her rage!

Her Sisters were all she ever had, they stood by her. And so what if they are not perfect, I mean I do not agree with most of the choices they made but they reacted to what they knew and how they saw their sister constantly struggling to cater for a man who promised her the world itself. They saw their sister sinking and maybe if they knew better they would have acted better but they tried to help anyways!.

Then Diane taunted this woman by intentionally rubbing it on her face that he gave her everything, including a baby. The house, the boat, the wedding, the ring, the vacation places etc….C’mon, who does that? I mean with the same lady that has unfortunately made history in her life that she will never have a child? As far as I am concern, that was pure disrespect and intentional and it was never about the money for Melinda, it was about pain, heartbreak, broken trust, broken promises, wasted years and revenge!….At this point she could literally not feel anything except the rage she has harbored for years.

You do not treat someone you once loved that way, you do not treat someone who gave up everything for you that way. He did not have to get back with her, he knew her well enough to know how to go about it. He knew first hand how crazy she can get and he married her despite all odds….So, Melinda’s reaction is DEFINITELY not an excuse but she is not to blame. Loyalty is what has kept and is still keeping a lot of marriages and relationships today but that is a story for another day.

A wise woman once told me……A man is only as humble as his empty pocket, when money walks through the door his true colors surfaces.

‘Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned’

Love and Light,

S.K.

In order to change the world, we need to change ourselves first.

I was having a chat with a friend of mine the other day and he said…”Why do you always use every opportunity to say something good about yourself”? And I replied “of course, because I am Amazing” and he said…there you go again. In all Honesty, I didn’t think about the response it just came outta my head.

Now, this is not pride or any of sort but it is self assurance that I have studied over time in the bible and understanding what the bible says gives you a different view all together and trust me, the little I know of the bible says a whole lot. I Love anybody that knows what they carry in them – We are the salt of the earth; anyone who is confident and bold to accept what has been given to them. I am an Optimist and I have my moments of doubts sometimes, but it sure doesn’t last because it can only get better.

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I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is beauty overdose, I see a woman who will change the world in every little possible way she can and it applies to my friends as well.
I once had a very intelligent boss who always says “in order to change someone, you have to change yourself first” this is very deep being that our tongue, our thoughts, our imaginations play a very vital role in who we are and who we become and it all starts with belief. So many of us are stuck in a particular position or circumstance because we have refused to believe it can get better and that pessimism draws us back to that negative circle.

I am not a motivational speaker but I feed off motivation because I really don’t have anything to lose, so positivity, optimism, hope and faith is all I have got and I practice it every single day of my life and yes it has taken me places I never imagined and given me satisfaction, fulfillment and tranquility over time which brings me to my point……….No one loves you more than you love yourself and you need to appreciate yourself and your efforts everyday and focus on the right energy. Rhonda Bryne wrote in her book (The Secret) that “Your life right now is a reflection of your past thoughts. That includes all the great things, and all the things you consider not so great. Since you attract to you what you think about most, it is easy to see what your dominant thoughts have been on every subject of your life, because that is what you have experienced”.

In order for things to start working the way you have envisaged then you need to focus your thoughts towards that and leave negativity behind because you cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last, so learn to cover all negative energy and pessimism with a mental of oblivion and just breathe and proclaim every and anything you have always wanted and it may be slow but you are surely drawing that magnetic force to locate you.

XOXO

S.K

A LOT can happen in 12 months.

This post was actually due about 12 days ago but due to unforeseen circumstances, its been posted today.

2016 was one hell of a year because of lined up events that could have broken me but Thank God we do not look like what we have been through because only the heavens can comprehend……Then 2017 walked into my life and I have never been happier because I made a promise to myself that I have paid my dues and it will only get better for me because I have surpassed the lowest I can ever be. I remember the prayers I said on the last day of 2016 – I practically raised up my heart and mind to God and he showed up for me, you know that situation whereby you ask your best friend for something and he/she gives you more than you requested? that was it…..I have claimed my space on earth till my last day and so should you.

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So, in the space of 12 wonderful months….I reconnected with myself, I got to find out a lot about myself that I didn’t know and it was not just hilarious – it was ecstatic. I read abundance of books that broadened my horizon and completely evolved my thinking, I felt wholesome about myself – choosing myself and putting myself first always, I also understood you cannot give what you do not have, I discerned how beautiful, skillful, UN-paralleled, extraordinary and incredible I am and how much I hated being average, I Understood how hard and smart I needed to work in my career most importantly how my relationship with God was always my back bone.

Then I resolved that God will only promote you to your level of tolerance and pain because we are survivors, and time….time heals everything.

My favorite song of the year goes to ‘Bob Marley – Every little thing is gonna be alright’

Dear Friends, 2018 will be Inexplicable for you because of the Amazing possibilities that awaits you, things will happen to you that you never expected because God will WAOH you, he will heal all your wounds in the space of little time and make tears roll down your cheek because of how speechless you will be when everything begins to fall in the right places.

Merry Christmas in Arrears and Happy New year in Advance.

See you on the other side, I am excited about 2018.

XOXO,

S.K

 

I Met Someone New.

I am known to bask in my own world because this my head is full of Amazing possibilities that I must achieve and nothing can stop me because there is no room for mediocrity in my lexicon.
So recently, I met someone incredible and when I say that I don’t just mean averagely I mean – implausible, fabulous, outstanding….and the list goes on.
We could literally talk about any and everything and conversations were so easy that it just
flowed effortlessly and sometimes I don’t even want it to end – one of my fears!…But that’s not the case because this may just be a figment of my imagination, does this person even exist or its just fiction.

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…Moving on, I posted my friend’s pre-wedding photos some days back and while some were sending congratulatory messages, some were sending messages like…”we are waiting for yours ohhh”. And I tried to suppress my alter ego’s force to respond in a nasty way and just try to be nice about it because its possible they meant no harm but since this blog is my space to vent I just want to let it all out here and set the record straight.

I really don’t know what some people want in marriages, I don’t know everyone’s expectations, what they look out for but I see people going into marriages that have no solid foundation, no aim, no plan other than reproduction, love, or desperation – which makes people settle for less than they deserve, fantasy and some sick idea of feeling “whole”…and maybe that is what they want or all they can get and some are happy while most are not but please give me a break I beg of you…Marriage isn’t the “holy grail” or the Ultimate goal…atleast not for me.
I believe there should be a standard for everyone and what rocks my boat, may sink your ship.

As for me, marriage is not meant for everyone in this world and it’s my opinion which is my fundamental human right, so you don’t have to agree with me but allow me find what I am searching for.
Three things I am scared of in this world are:
1. Not making heaven.
2. Not reaching my full potential on earth.
3. Marrying the wrong one or for the wrong reasons.

This is Africa, I know so save your breath by spelling it out for me but maybe I am 1 of the 3% who want more than just companionship and have grown to understand that there is so much more to life than marriage….it will come when it comes and trust me by that time God will interrupt my plans and make me realise it’s essence and that person. But in the mean time, let us learn to love “wisely” in relationships and love “blindly” in marriage. Most people tend to switch places with both which obviously leads to misplaced priorities but hey…I am not a marriage or relationship expert and my intentions are genuine – I promise. All i’m tryna say is some people take longer in finding “the one” and it doesn’t make you any less of a human contrary to what the society believes.

This is me wishing you all your heart desires now and always and hoping you find the wind beneath your wings.

Love and Light.
S.K

Family is everything.

About a week ago I came home from work and met my mum in tears, from the deep shade of red color her eyes proved she had been crying for quite a while and I asked…’mum, whats the matter’ and she said my aunt who was just at our house three weeks ago had suddenly died. It was really devastating because to be honest she was an extremely good woman and it hurts so much how bad things happen to good people but here is my point………………During the burial mass sermon, the priest made an observation that was unequivocally true amongst a lot of families these days; The only thing in this life we cannot choose is our family, they come in different shades, they are frigging annoying they can get on your last nerves, you will hate them sometimes, you will get bored of them, but the truth remains we are yoked for life and we have no choice than to accept them, tolerate one another and love them none the less because when they are gone? we will wish we showed them more love or better still told them how much we loved them.

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I knew a guy once who had been keeping malice with his Dad for over 7 years, when i found out and tried talking to him about it he came up with excuses and reasons for his behavior and it was a total turn off for me instantly. Maybe he had a very good reason and his Dad deserved it but at that point all i could think about was myself and not having the privilege of having a dad while growing up while others were enjoying the company of theirs, and here is someone who still has a father but cannot mend fences? I am not the best of them all, and i am still trying to find my balance in this world we live in but i know one thing for sure….”We understand death for the first time, when it touches the ones we love”.

So, to all my friends out there who have been hurt deeply by a family member, or a friend who is like family, who seem to be holding grudges for offenses long forgotten….No one said it will be easy but It is time to accept an apology you may never receive, it is time to mend fences, forgive or make an effort to forgive the ones we love be it family or not because either by blood or by association….Family is everything.

Happy Independence.

XOXO

S.K

 

 

High School Chronicles.

  • So few months ago, one of my oldest friends insisted on meeting me up saying we needed to discuss stuff about “US”, apparently we hadn’t spoken in a while and she thought we had been on an intentional silent mode for reasons she stated which honestly I couldn’t even remember. She came to my office during lunch hour after much insistence and it was really great seeing her after a while.
    She started by saying whatever I seemed to had done that she wasn’t happy with and most of which I never kept in mind tbh, but the part that drew me aback was when she said she met with some of our former high school classmates and they asked about me and couldn’t stop calling me names…”snobbish, proud, arrogant” and the likes of it almost like ‘the thing pain them die’….hhhmmnnn.
    Now let me tell you a little about my high school days……it was fun to say the least..
    I mean, I was on scholarship for the first three years, I was very….very…very popular, I always had a click of friends who of course were so cool too, liked by seniors and I had an Amazing school mother…. for my mates – disliked by many, mostly the irrelevant ones tho (at that time) and my immediate seniors I’m sure “Hate” was an understatement because they seized every opportunity to punish I and my friends specially like we were a threat of some sort…Well, you know how immediates are even in families.
    I became a prefect and most interesting of all, I was in press club and was a pretty good reader that Monday assembly was anticipated for by students partly to hear me read and so they can join in chorusing my name with me while introducing myself before reading….Maybe I wasn’t even that good…abeg I was very good jare!. Need I fail to mention I was mostly paired with this very intelligent reader that happens to be a Lawyer right now….(FM)…..oh I was also part of this Amazing singing group (VOP) that made me look forward to Sundays because we slayed like Queens and sang like Angels. The good old salad days seems like yesterday.
    So, in between all the brouhaha that happened in high school, I had massive fun sometimes at other peoples peril but it wasn’t my fault, I guess being privileged is something I can’t fight any longer and have happily accepted…hahahahahaha.(No offense, maybe its the confidence I have in God) So, yes I was snobbish, pride full and possibly arrogant amongst many other adjectives but I also had and still have brains, at least that counts for something doesn’t it? (Just teasing LOL) Well, the point is that I enjoyed every bit and minute of high school BUT it’s over now, at best some of us have a good and civil relationship with one another now.

    Fast forward to 9 years later, can some people let it rest for heaven sake?
    I mean this is something we all can joke about right now yeah? But the funny part is how people still take it personal like I rained on their parade or something, these are people that I can’t even remember and to be honest I don’t even care about and they shouldn’t care about me too because I couldn’t even place their names when she mentioned…exactly what I told my friend when she told me about the said “Gossip” Probably she was using all these as a way to score points on me and make me the villain of our “issues” but it didn’t affect me one bit (I’m sorry if you see this Babygirl)

     

     

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    So here is what I have to say….back then, I was in my teens and I did a lot of childish act that I possibly cannot even remember but that’s what children do, so can we get over it already? I had fun, it came with the territory….Can you all move on with me and probably, just maybe we can all joke about it and laugh at our stupidity sometime in the future? I mean, we are all in our twenties now Godammit!…Let it go, trust me I am not that Important anymore, except to the world though…#winks#…..So, it doesn’t have to be that deep, we all have had our fair share of mistreatment over time by colleagues, friends and sometimes family but getting past it is what makes us stronger by the day.

    Some people do not really know my kind of person, sides from the fact that I get irritated easily and can be extremely annoying LOL.. here are few things you should know..

  • I Love my space.
  • I am Honest to a fault….maybe too blunt.
  • I am an Ambivert…not much of a hangout person or a socialite.
  • I Love to read books and surf the net, movies, music and I love to Reminisce.
  • I am passionate about everything I do and I take responsibilities for my actions.
  • I can be mean sometimes and very bad at keeping in touch with old acquaintances.
  • I have zero tolerance for bullshit and inconsistency.
  • I am very sarcastic, I eat off humor and I laugh a lot.
  • Most Importantly….I AM AMAZING!!

So this goes to every one of us out there who is finding it hard to let some frivolous things go, who enjoys feeding off peoples topic with rage, envy or struggling with forgiveness, who are still hurt because of one significant mistake, issue or phase in the past….Lets forgive each other and move on, we can help one another in the future and maybe there is a chance we can even be friends…(a slim chance tho…LOL) Sometimes we don’t even know we have hurt someone in the course of our daily lives and lastly, “Most” of us have grown up over the years and are just busy trying to build our careers and make a living for ourselves.

At this point, let us all work towards being the better version of ourselves and Understand that this life is really not a competition, we are all struggling to be in a better place so focus on your hustle and hopefully we will get there someday.

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are”.

XOXO from S.K.

Love and Light,

Colleagues turned Friends.

So about two years ago when I passed out from the National youth service corps, I got an interview immediately and that was how my career started. I was very scared at first because, relocating back home and not having time to catch up with my friends that were lucky enough to serve in my family home base gave me mixed feelings or maybe it was fear of the unknown. It was at that point my brain restructured to the fact that God answers prayers because the fear of sitting at home without a Job after service was giving me the chills and I remember applying tirelessly for even jobs I was not qualified for. Well, for some people it took longer than expected but their own day came, and for others they are still waiting for their day and trust me it will come because it is not how far but how well.

Screenshot_2015-06-12-18-07-53  Anyways, I resumed exactly a month after my second Interview and I remember my sister telling me that I have been ushered into a new phase entirely in my life and this is the point where reality sets in. So I resume work on this faithful day and I was given a desk and chair in the same office with this very slim dark looking girl that dressed so well, she was 6 months older than me in the organization and knew her way around, lets call her Coco. Work began and Coco started putting me through most of the things I knew nothing about, she was very smart I must confess and was about my age grade and that made me a little comfortable. One week later, another lady resumed and she was the Admin officer also our age grade, apparently she had been on leave for few weeks, and she was elated to see me. She welcomed me very well with her beautiful smile and deep dimples just like mine….Okay fine, mine is not so visible but all na dimples sha heheheh, her smile was Adorable. She and Coco seemed very free with one another and they ‘gisted’ about lots of things, trying to catch up and all, lets call the dimples lady Cassie….

Time went by, weeks, months and before you knew it we were like the three Musketeers in the office, we talked about everything…well almost, ate together, hung out together, visited one another, advised one another, and of course had misunderstandings some times which was dramatic by the way…(One of the things I will miss). It was fun having these girls around and it took a while to admit but we were actually friends. One thing I learned while working with them was how to separate our differences from our work, meaning we may be having a fight as friends but we still worked together as colleagues to get the job done.

Fast forward two years later, with a whole lot of things that happened in between these period, they have been Amazing…Extremely I must confess, so let me say this.

Coco and Cassie, are the kind of colleagues that everyone will wanna have, knowing that someone shares in your story, your dreams, your aspirations, vulnerable moments, goes beyond the ordinary. I mean, I am blessed with few Amazing friends that meets all the requirements and are very rare because we ‘goal’ alike but it feels good to know that not only those friends are Extra-ordinary, you can meet more of such people in your work environment and they turn out to be great. Having a Great colleague and a colleague turned friends are two different things because it doesn’t just end in the confine of an office building.

So, Cassie is relocating to the States, the project is coming to an end and I and Coco may not get to work in the same organization or state again. This is the point when I realize that memories is actually all we will ever have and hold on to, because there may never be another Cassie and Coco in my life, there may just be another Cassie or another Coco but the “Gang” …………well, lets hope for the best.

Love and Light.

Take out the Weeds.

Happy New Year!!!! My beloved readers, oh yes i know its been well over months since you last heard from me and No i don’t have any solid excuse for my silence but i hope that does not cause a ‘wedge’ between us.

These past few months have been quite eventful both personally, socially, educationally and other wise and note to say i made important choices that has given me inner peace and a sense of direction. I took out weeds from my life figuratively i mean and it has been the best decision yet.

Many of us do not know our value, i keep hammering on it and it is quite saddening but that is not a topic for the day.

2017 promises to be fruitful and a year of Divine Restoration which is to say that it is time to act and take your place here on earth, stop relaxing, stop accepting any kind of handouts, stop settling for less….Some of us had big dreams while growing up and suddenly it no longer exist…why? We gave up one way or the other due to some challenges that eventually passed..Now let me tell you something, the day you stop developing yourself is the day you start dying and i mean it literally….Do something, learn something, read a book; motivational, inspirational, christian or whatever but don’t make yourself redundant…Don’t waste your time with people who cannot see on the same level you see, who cannot help you achieve or push you to achieve, you are not ordinary and you need to tell yourself that everyday else you will lose your sanity.

Take out time to reminisce, what have you achieved over the years, are you scared of having a quiet time? Well it is never too late. Do not get comfortable where you are, follow your dreams, your passion, be outstanding, be creative and most of all take out every ‘weed’ in your life because the greatest mistake most of us make in life is letting someone be a stone to your balloon.

Love and Light!

When God doesn’t make sense.

I came across a book titled ‘When God doesn’t make sense’ by James Dobson a few weeks ago, and knowing that a lover of books like me wouldnt let it go, i had to glance through it just to feed my curiosity and probably starve my doubt and behold….I was left in Awe at the explanations compressed to fit that book of over 2oo pages.

Often times when we are faced with challenges, tough times, heartbreaks, trials and reoccurring sentimental or even career issues that just seems to put a heavy weight on our shoulders for no just no cause, probably even after doing everything right, it begins to feel like we are targets, like nothing seems to work for good in our favour.

We pray constantly, fast, study the bible…and it seems all those efforts yield nothing positive, then we begin to question our faith in God or if he even exists, because at that point in time…Nothing makes sense, God does not make sense, and neither does life itself.

Listen, God gave you Emotions on purpose and our Emotions play a vital role in our living happy, healthy and successful lives. All the trials we face and the emotions we feel help us understand and discover the wonders of this life, but that diversity of feelings is supposed to complement our lives and not determine it.

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Life does not make sense sometimes and we have to learn to live with that, and sometimes God does not make sense either because the ways of man is not the way of God and we have to trust him and believe that delay is not denial and even when it seems like our whole world is crushing, and nothing seems to work out in our minds……God still makes sense but we just cant see it yet…Keep in mind that, if there are no hard times or struggles in life then you would not know what Breakthroughs and miracles feels like.

Love and Light.

XOXO.